(The following article is in response to this post written by our author Sushant Singh Bhatia.)

Feminism v/s Menism v/s Perspective 

Dear believer of humanism,

I was really glad to read your blog, really, really glad.

All the extremely niche experiences that you have picked out, would be belittled (the least to say) if pitched with what the women of this country have gone through, AND SURVIVED.

Feminism is at a nascent stage, hardly an embryo, fighting to find its existence and we are already making way for ‘Menism.’ It is surprising to see how easy it was to get on your nerves though.
Now I believe you can imagine the centuries of atrocities that my gender has tolerated, succumbed to, pushed against, won some and lost many.

We have had way too many bad experiences being pulled, pushed, touched inappropriately, leered at, told that we are not good enough, heard abuses related to the very body parts we are made of, discriminated against, forced into submission, objectified and sacrificed. So forgive us for being wary or trying to make up for the ages of freedom that we never had by getting a local train ticket with a smile.

We would have never needed those special Women’s compartments if we were never ill treated in the General compartment. That is right. Not the Men’s. GENERAL! Also, take a moment and think why after 10 pm every ladies compartment still needs two male officers. Is it for protection?
If yes, then against whom? And FYI, I have given my seat one too many times to senior citizens. May be you should stop giving way to ‘Hot Chicks.’ Another good observation on your part, by the way..

It’s almost offensive, the way you write ‘Abla Nari’ and ‘Ablapan’ in order to generalize my entire gender with just one instance of what you saw. How about I do the same? Generalize your entire gender. Call all men ‘rapists, molesters, abusive or inhuman.’
But I won’t do that. For a very simple reason. By the time I was 14 realized something that middle aged men and women of this county haven’t managed to figure out yet. CO-EXISTENCE! We, men and women, were meant to co-exist. And not one above the other, but shoulder to shoulder.
Also, I owe a lot to many nurturing, kind men and women in my life.

And finally, to discuss equality. I AM ALL FOR EQUALITY. However, biologically men and women were created UNEQUAL. (in reference to the video complimenting your article) A woman slapping a man and a man slapping a woman differs wildly, simply because of biological reasons.
But we do need a middle ground. So the punishment of crime for both the genders need to same. I am totally on this page with you. But physical violence, if not used for self defense or mutually consented rough sex, should not be used at all. PERIOD. 

Me: "Whale you be my Valentine?" She: "Dolphinitely.”

So here’s an insider’s tour (Navigating Officer – Sushant Singh Bhatia a.k.a The Hippie Shippy), to take you through the labyrinth (his Ship – his Valentine) while on a voyage from Japan to Indonesia.

Welcome aboard!

10 REASONS WHY BEING AT SEA, IS INDEED HAVING A ‘WHALE’ OF A TIME !

1. WE GET PAID TO SEE THE WORLD !

Yes indeed! What’s on a Landlubber’s ‘Bucketlist’ is on our ‘Done and Dusted and Dumped’ List.
PS : Mars and Moon are probably the only two places on our Bucketlist :P

(landlubber - a person who is permanently ashore / at land)

Sushant @PGE Arena , Gdansk, Poland (Euro Final Soccer Stadium)

2. GEOGRAPHY ON OUR FINGER TIPS !

Be it a passage through the Adriatic Sea or Torres Straits. Or for that matter, even the complicated Magellan Straits, globetrotters we indeed are!
Shippy wives too, become well-versed, and the flipping of time zones and datelines soon becomes a part and parcel of their lives.
So the next time your son misses a Geography lesson at school, you know whom to approach.

3. WE HAVE ALL TIME TO STAND AND STARE !

Yes, navigators do get paid for looking out of the window. We're the privileged ones to get the world’s most unadulterated wind and the most scintillating sunsets.
*Shaamein malang si, Raatein surang si , Khaanabadoshiyon pe, hi jaane kyun, Ilaahi mera jee aaye aaye…..* plays in the head!

Sheer Bliss !

4. THESE POPEYES NEED NO SPINACH !

Needless to say, this ain’t a place for sissies. With gales storms and typhoons coupled with rolling /pitching of the ship, being an everyday phenomenon, it’s only a place for the tough lads. After All, it’s not for nothing that they associate the phrase ‘being at sea’ when you are ill at ease, isn’t it?

This man needs no introduction!

5. A HOME AWAY FROM HOME !

Be it your first Birthday away from home, or your Girlfriend’s for that matter, a supportive crew, will always find means to cheer you up. After all, a family that works together, stays together.

The feeling of ‘Oneness’ fostered on board is indeed unparalleled!

The Captain and his 'Arsenal'

6. A GRAND FAMILY FAIR !

Unlike popular belief, that life at sea is dull and drab, most companies now permit Officers to carry their families on board. So come Summer Vacations and the ship gets ready for the pandemonium to arrive on board. Barbeque parties and Karaoke Nights become an every day affair.
Now, how many kids can boast of having spent their vacations on a ship!

And after all, when you have your family on board, who needs a reason to party? 

Delicacies for an ‘On Board Party’

7. CONNOISSEURS OF CUISINES, WE ALL ARE!

Being Nomads, we undoubtedly have opportunity of tasting the best of world’s cuisines. So be it a Kaiten Sushi with Wasabi or a Polish Sernik, we surely ‘have’ the best of both words.

Not forgetting the wonderful Galley Staff (Chief Cook and a Steward) that never fails to amaze us, with their ‘ Finger Licking good’ delicacies. interesting fact is that since Biryani is a fixed meal on a ship, for a Sunday Lunch, mariners count their weeks remaining to be home, in terms of Biryanis.

Now, the next time you hear, “I have four more Biryanis to go!”, from a mariner, you know just exactly what they're talking about.

'Kaiten Sushi' - Sushi on the conveyor belt !

8. MEN IN UNIFORM – NEED I SAY MORE!

It is an undeniable fact that girls swoon over men in uniform. The pride and responsibility associated with the same, is what adds to the ‘charisma’ of this profession.

Men on a mission !

9. RICHIE RICH AND NO DENYING THAT!

With handsome salaries, comparable to the best in the world, they are every landlubber’s envy. And

being tax free too (Yes…rub your eyes!) , adds ‘Mirchi to their Misery’!

Needs no caption...

10. BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE, THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME !

A Family Reunion after a stint at sea, is probably the best day in a mariner’s life.

Afterall, seeing the ‘The Paltan’ (the long queue) waiting to catch a glimpse of you at the

airport, makes all the sacrifices we make worthwhile, at the end of the day.

“If you are brave enough to say a ‘Goodbye’,
Life will surely reward you with a new Hello!”
- Paulo Coehlo

Ahoy! The Sea beckons me.

- Sushant Singh Bhatia / ‘The Hippie Shippy’

Shipping with Pride.

Source

It is rightly said...silence is gold. I think silence is the substance of the best and the worst moments of our life.

Like those tacit times, when we let the eyes do the talking.

Or that look, that glare, or maybe the spark with which those eyes stare.

The way someone holds your hand, which says they care.

When one glance is enough or that touch.

We humans have five senses, not to forget the sixth sense, indeed. Then why only words?

When she wears your favourite colour to work.

The way she grabs your hand and rests her head on your shoulder during a romantic movie.

That glance you exchange with a smile with your better half, the first time you take your tiny little new born in your arms.

When mom saves the last piece of cake for you.

The tear of happiness that trickles down her cheek when you give her your first pay cheque.

That proud pat on your back from your dad. Words would clearly underestimate all this.

But, there is a difference between people who don't need your words, and those who do not deserve them. There comes a time, when you realize, words are so much in vain. That people are so unworthy. You then understand, that silence is the best. No words, no gestures, no deeds would mend that is broken. That sometimes, it is best to let go, best, not to explain. After all the heart wrenching pain, after all those sleepless nights, you see. You see so clearly, after all those tears, that was hitherto vague. That now is the time. And that very moment you realize that silence, is indeed gold.

- Srishti Agrawal

"Platform kramaank chaar par aane waali dheemi local, sabhi sthanakon par rukegi. Soochna samapt."

Probably, the most irritating few seconds of being at a Railway platform, unless of course you're boarding from Dadar!

So here's giving our Railway stations, a chance to express a 'whats on your mind' :

 KHARGHAR : STILL WAITING FOR THE AIRPORT

VILE PARLE - WE STILL SMELL OF BISCUITS!

POWAI - OF HIRANANDANI, IIT AND HIGHRISES! 

SANDHURST ROAD - STILL WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO PRONOUNCE ME RIGHT :(

GRANT ROAD - WE'RE KNOWN FOR JUST ONE THING! ;)

NERAL - I'M NOT NERUL :X

PAREL - THE 'LOWER' THE BETTER!

DADAR - DREADED, SINCE TIMES IMMEMORIAL 

KURLA - MAA KA DOODH PIYA HAI, TOH UTAR KE DIKHA!

GOVANDI - A STINKY STORY!

 

CST (V.T.) - ST. XAVIER'S, HOT CHICKS AND LEOPOLD, WE'VE GOT IT ALL!

 BADLAPUR - WAITING FOR THAT VARUN DHAWAN MOVIE!

~ Sushant Singh Bhatia

“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you. 

And then they attack you and want to burn you. 

And then, they build monuments to you!”

As Delhi gears up for elections, 'Farjiwal', 'Fekriwal', 'AK-49', 'Bhagoda' (and some of our trademark Hindi abusive words which never cease to evolve, each time they are mentioned) gears up for another session of mockery!

The last Lok Sabha Election, was a trendsetter. Facebook, Twitter was flooded with updates of our inked fingers. Voting and knowing whom to vote for, was suddenly in vogue! In a first of its kind, not only did the country vote, but also chose a majority, a rarity in a democracy like ours! Delhi had all of a sudden, found a Messiah! A ‘one-stop’ solution to all its woes…

In 1989, Arvind Kejriwal returned home, from his final year at IIT-Kharagpur, with just the clothes that he was wearing and the residue of money left, from what he had set aside for his return journey. Everything else he owned, was given to charity. Even today, all that his party has, is a group of naive supporters, who feel a change is still possible – that of clean governance, of ‘poorna-swaraj’. Isn’t this what we had always desired?

49 days into the government, he betrayed the unconditional trust placed in him and quit the government. A ‘Messiah’ 49 days ago, saw his effigies, all round the country, the 50^th day onwards! Strange country ours is, isn’t it? We love to hate, the ‘Harbinger’ of hope and change. That very Bhagoda, who brought voting in vogue! His solid academic IIT, IRS background, which once was his effervescence, now irks the country, as they supposedly proudly see a ‘Chaiwala’ doing better than an IITian!

He certainly is, and has been naive, reckless, immature with his decisions, but apologized and learnt from them, rather than simply exclaiming – “Is desh ka kuch nahin ho sakta”. Doesn’t he deserve forgiveness? At least once?

Afterall, “ Subah ka bhoola, jab sham ko ghar aaye, toh use bhoola (‘Bhagoda’) nahin kehte! ”

When Kejriwal resigned, he sought an extension to stay in his C-II/23 Tilak Lane home (due to his daughter’s board exams and entrance tests) for which he was charged Rs. 85,000 a month as rent. Surely nothing wrong with that.

An interesting RTI plea reply, the same month reveals that 36 ex-ministers, including B.J.P. biggies - L.K. Advani, Sushma Swaraj, Arun Jaitley, listed as unauthorized occupants, had gone scot-free!

Surprisingly, amidst the pandemonium, Harshita, Kejriwal’s daughter, not only managed a brilliant 96% in her boards, but also qualified for the IITs with an AIR # 3322. Apparently, Kejriwal was lodged in jail, in connection with the Gadkari defamation case, the very same day his daughter wrote the IIT entrance exam.

On Dec 23^rd, when Kejriwal announced his government in Delhi, his son Pulkit and daughter Harshita exclaimed to Mail Today,

“HUMAARE PAPA MEIN BOHOT DUM HAI !” 

  Let’s not prove a ‘Father’ wrong.

 Let’s not prove India wrong! 

                                        

                                                                                        -        Sushant Singh Bhatia

(Inspired by AAP's website and AAP of course!)

                                                                      

Source

While men have their trademark “Tu jaanta nahin mai kaun hoon” / “Aukaat mein reh beta” / “Ek lagaun kya kaan ke neeche”, women manage it with “Sandal utaroon kya?” / “Ghar mein Maa-Behen nahin hai kya?”

At first, we had Adam and Eve, graduated to Male and Female, 377 added Gays, Lesbians, Homo/Hetero/Metros and then came philosophies for their equality.

Which could be aptly summed up as :

Adam -> Eve -> Male/Female ->  Gays, Lesbians, Homo/hetero/metros -> Rapes -> More Rapes -> Feminism -> Adam teasing -> Rohtak Girls -> Menism!

I’m glad I do not believe in either of the two philosophies.

What I believe in is ‘Humanism’.

The other day, I was standing in queue at the ticket counter of a Railway Station in Mumbai, when I came across a lady, probably in her late twenties, approaching a man, just about to have his turn, at the ticket counter. All she requested him, was for a ticket for her, while buying his own. What followed came as no surprise to me. The man happily obliged and handed over the ticket to her, blushing away to glory, only to hear the politest “Thank You” of his life!

No protests, no objections raised, no questions asked. Why?

I guess we all know the answer.

The very same day, I grabbed my ticket from the counter (Just mine, I repeat!) and boarded, what probably was the most crowded train of my life till date – Kurla to Vashi. Soon, a man managed to board the train (God knows how) with a lady, who seemed to be his wife and managed to shield her, with both his arms at one corner, near the standees. And then, something very usual happened. The train was galloping its way towards Vashi, when a man lost his balance only to break the protective shield and protrude into the ‘Trespassers will be prosecuted’ territory!

The verbal spat that followed, is not the topic of my discussion. Now, just for a second, imagine the same man, boarding the same train, with the same wife, but in the ‘Ladies’ compartment this time. Whether he would emerge alive or dead, is probably a tougher question, than the GDP growth of India next year!

Image Source

Feminism, at least as it claims to be, is for equal rights to men and women and so is Menism. But, Ours is a country, where we’d offer a seat to a hot chic, who boards the ‘Gents’ compartment of a Railway train, rather than to a Senior citizen, but bash up a man, if he has the audacity to board the Ladies’! Where, we’d happily buy tickets for an ‘Abla Naari’, who very conveniently uses her ‘Ablapan’ to get her job done, but abuse a man, if he joins his friend in the queue!

So where’s the equality?

The purpose of my write up is certainly not to play an M.C.P. and preach. In fact, I’m a firm believer of Kate Nash’s philosophy –

“Feminism is not a dirty word. It does not mean you hate men, it does not mean you hate girls who have nice legs and a tan and it does not mean you are a ‘bitch’ or a ‘dyke’, It means you believe in equality.”

The purpose is, to understand the concept of ‘Humanism’, which simply means equality in all regards. It’s about respecting women, to be equal to men.

So that the next time, a girl is touched in public, we all stop it right there, nip it in the bud, rather than standing there as mute spectators!

So that the next time, when a bunch of ragamuffin bimbos bash up a group of innocuous men, India speaks up and gets them arrested right away!

That’s ‘Humanism’ !!!

It’s not for nothing that they say ,

“Feminists hate it, when men treat them, the way they treat other men”

Think about it!

Image Source

-  Sushant Singh Bhatia

‘Boost’ can neither be created, nor destroyed. It can only be converted from

one form to another. The total amount of ‘Boost’ in the Universe, always

remains constant.  That’s Law of Conservation of Energy – because - 

“Boost is the secret of my Energy”

...until recently, was the only thing synonymous with the ‘Lil Master’ until he ‘Played it his way’ and openly criticized the former Indian Coach – 

‘He who must not be named’

All of a sudden, former cricketers, current cricketers and commentators alike joined the bandwagon, following suit. So, here’s faking news’ perspective on the future implications of  Sachin’s Autobio ‘greg’ phy –

‘Playing it Greg’s Way!’

 It wasn't me who slapped Sreesanth, it was the ‘Hand of Greg’

-  Bhajji

Greg Chappell introduced me to DLF.

               -  Damaad Vadra

Greg Chappell is an Ambani Agent.

                                           -  AK49 (If you know what I mean)

Greg Chappell and I, are just ‘Cricket Enthusiasts’

                       - Dhoni Pitamah ‘Srini’

Greg Chappell ko ‘OLX’ pe bech do.

-  Flipkart

Greg Chappell took my Father away!

-  Haider

 Greg Chappell taught me how to speak.

                      -  Dr. Manmohan Singh

                                       

Bhaiyya ko bachpan se ‘banane’ ka shauk tha, aur mujhe ‘girane’ ka!

          -  Greg Chappell

Greg Chappell is a stupid ‘Boron’

    -   A Chemist

                                        

Nevertheless, wishing you all a ‘Merry Christmas’and a

 ‘Phosphorus’  New Year!

                                                                                       - Sushant Singh Bhatia

                                     

         

idiot

Pronunciation: ` I – de - at (usually offensive)

noun informal
- a stupid person.

synonyms:
fool, ass, halfwit, nincompoop, blockhead, dunce, dolt, ignoramus,cretin,imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, clod.

Wonder if our dictionaries too are censored. Why else would they have defined idiots using just about a dozen harmless words…? Given a chance we would have liked to add a few choice words of our own. But since idiots seem to multiply faster than rabbits on Viagra, it would take me a century to introduce you to the entire species. So, in public interest, I’d stick to those, that affect us the most – those likely to give you a free pass to your own funeral…

TYPE 1:  THE EARPHONE/HEADPHONE CLAD IDIOT 

 

‘Eminem’ caps and ‘Metallica’ tees are not the only indication…you find them moderately dressed too. I kid you not! With their fist made ‘V’s and ‘U’s swaying to their hard rock tunes, they are transported to their whole new pseudo world, only to be rudely awakened by an indignant pedestrian. That’s when you know what you’re up against. The only remedy I suggest is a Christ’s Smile – Forgive them, coz they don’t know what they’re up to…

TYPE 2 : THE ‘TO DO OR NOT TO DO’ IDIOT 

Should I have a Blueberry cheesecake or a pancake for dessert? Will I ever get the right girl? Mutual funds or SIPs?

There is certainly no harm in thinking about your life. But trying such stunts during peak hour traffic ?? That’s a clear sign you’ve come across a ‘To do or not to do’ type of idiot… and as you screech to a halt, all you can do, hope and pray is that you don’t break anything more than his chain of thoughts…

TYPE 3 : THE DEPRIVED IDIOT 

 

There are a few things in life we don’t have the liberty to choose – like our parents, our names or even the schools we go to, to name a few…And the same goes for this guy (oops! Idiot) who’d been forced to spend his puberty in an ‘all boys’ school with nothing but a few Magazines (and hands of course) for company. How else would you explain a grown-up, forcing you to stop dead in your tracks, just to admire a member of the opposite sex?? And just when he chooses to make your life on the road as deplorable as his teens, he jumps straight into my list!

TYPE 4 : THE ‘I KNOW IT ALL’ IDIOT 

He, who considers himself no lesser verb than ‘Google’, the ‘I know it all’ Idiot….With an in-built Encyclopaedia, he always has an answer, an opinion on everything under the Sun. Be it the latest gadgets and gizmos or the current happenings, he is one Bimbo, who can easily and very confidently take you for a ride. Be it misguiding you to board a wrong bus or wrong directions, these ‘Omnipresent’ species are undoubtedly the toughest to identify..!

TYPE 5 : THE ‘LOUUV LORN’ IDIOT !

He hides like a Trojan on your FB friends list and has the greatest of all hassles in life…This ‘Devdas’ of sorts who seems perennially disinterested from the materialistic world, seeks solace only in the dreams of his ‘khwaabon ki mallika’…An idiot for some, an entertainer for the rest, he is one specimen you've gotta watch out for!

And, it doesn't quite end here. But, it does give you the hope to bear with them, being well-versed with their commonest types. As Einstein aptly puts it “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former”. Trust me, you’ll find them packed like sardines in a tin, here, there and everywhere and as a TV commercial aptly puts it ,

 “Our streets are filled with idiots, isn't it?”

“Haan haan main crazy hoon” – some would protest..!

-  Sushant Singh Bhatia.

Inspired by CEAT’s ‘Our streets are filled with idiots’ campaign. 

Shonali Bose has directed two powerful scripts earlier in her career, Amu(2005) and Chittagong(2012), both of which didn't manage to get its due at the box office. Her latest film Margarita With a Straw, has been impressing the cinema lovers at international film festivals including an award at the reputed Toronto International Film Festival(TIFF). This one is co-directed by first-time director Nilesh Maniyar, who's been an assistant director for Kaminey earlier. Looking at the trailer of the film, it seems to be Shonali Bose's best film so far, with a powerful performance delivered by the versatile Kalki Koechlin. 
Apparently, Shonali Bose's cousin suffers from the same disability as Kalki's character in the film, and Kalki spent a lot of time with her to prepare herself better for the role. As she says in this recent interview of her's at TIFF, "This is one of the biggest challenge I've had as an actor in a film", it does seem to be her best performance on screen thus far in Bollywood. 

Let's hope the film backed by Viacom18 finds a release in India soon and manages to get its due at the box office unlike the director's previous works. 

SYNOPSIS :
A rebellious young woman with cerebral palsy leaves her home in India to study in New York, unexpectedly falls in love, and embarks on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery.

TRAILER :

Once in a while, a film like 'Fireflies' manages to find a space for itself in the no-brainer masala entertainer dominated Bollywood humdrum. Sadly, the audience for such films is limited, however if you're one of them(like us) do catch this lovely film that released today, October 31.

Check available shows

SYNOPSIS :

Fireflies is the story of two estranged brothers - Shiv and Rana. Shiv, a successful banker, lives in the superficial glitter of corporate Bombay. The younger brother, Rana, is a law school dropout who lives by the day. Though worldly experiences and illusions briefly illuminate the brothers journeys, a tragedy that befell them fifteen years earlier seems destined to repeat itself, just in new incarnations. Flames suddenly extinguish again, in an eerie heartbeat. The journey ahead echoing with voices and visions from the past, and the magic realism of the years gone by, beckons the brothers to find each other again. And the picture in the puzzle that was scattered so long ago. Fireflies come out in the night, just to light up the darkness. They live as long as the glow lasts.

TRAILER :

We just felt like mentioning this promising film on our blog. Do watch the trailer. 

We're excited for it. Are you?

(this is not a promoted post)