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Yes, sometimes it is hard to love you, but I find it harder not to,
Yes, it is better to leave while I can, somehow I don't want to.

You probably have someone,
It could be anyone.
Anyone but me,
No chance of a maybe.

Cause if that were really true, I'd know by hearing from you.
Since I don't, I also know you won't.

Not because you don't feel, but because it lacks appeal.
It doesn't appeal enough to your reality and make you believe,
That you wore my heart your sleeve.

But I guess it's alright,
If not, I can always pretend, right?
So I'll smile until the pain fades, and then some more,
Find hope once again, beautiful and pure.
It could be in you or someone I've never met before,
This constant state of despair must have a cure.

They say to move on you must will,
Man up and swallow the bitter pill.
Its always easier said than done,
A single stroke of fate, waiting to be undone.

I hope I can, I know I try,
It doesn't matter how much I cry.
I will move on,
Maybe not today, but someday,
This throbbing pain will be gone.

When I found you, you were helpless

You were good, I couldn't care ‘less’..

You would lie in my thoughts all the time,

Couldn't take you off my mind..

All I seeked for is your happiness,

The sparkle in your eyes when you smile..

Insanity was all you knew,

But you weren't that difficult..

Pain was as if running in your blood,

I wished you could leave it at my door..

About the next I had no clue,

But I promised I would be there with you..

Negativity surrounded your world,

But, positive, was your every single word..

I would do anything for you

cause from my soul I considered you true..

I wouldn't mind being miles away from you,

if that is what would give pleasure to you..

I would forget all my troubles and deal with yours,

cause your smallest comes before my biggest fears..

I could give my life to keep you happy,

cause my love isn't conditional..

It was a dream, until you lied,

perhaps you just wanted the truth to hide..

But the truth wouldn't have hurt me at all,

it was the truth after all..

Maybe I’d have given you boring lectures,

But is it so difficult to listen to it once?

A lie is very hard to take, at least for me,

lies after lies you were killing me..

Your lies weren't big ones no doubt,

but your little lies were enough to snatch out

My world..

from me.....

But I'll still be the same to you..

Cause my love, my friendship, isn't conditional..

I can't care ‘less’........

~ Plabita Borthakur

Broken heart misses a few pieces,

The past haunts, its existence never ceases.

A silent knock settles upon the aching heart,

Will you help me make a fresh start?

If I bare my wounds to you,

Will you heal them, rejuvenate too?

Will my depth learn to laugh again?

Will you bear me crack lame jokes and go insane?

Will you leave me and walk away?

Or will you stay and find a way?

And if I open my heart to you once again,

Will you be there for me till the end? 

Eyes shed tears every time they look within,

Yet the shattered heart refuses to cry the hidden malign.

The promise of forever is a plain white lie,

Forever means Convenience, all changes when the "spark" bids goodbye.

A spark in the relationship is what is called love,

Left alone, abandoned is the heart, when love fails to serve.

A fool I was to take love as more than "a spark in the relationship".

A fool to think Love is an eternal bond, an unsaid promise to keep.

Standing right besides you in all your battles, I promised never to leave your hand,

You left me when my life was low, this wound will never mend.

Do I deserve someone like you, asks my deep sunk heart.

And there is a big laughter, I am glad that we fell apart.

My love survived, yours did not because you never loved me,

I rather be alone than be with someone for whom loving me "doesn't come naturally"

Grateful to life for untying the knots, the pillars of which were never strong,

True love survives and stays together, even when things go wrong! 

The world around me often falls apart,
it simply fails to impart -

Any sense of glory and aplomb,
At best, it remains a ticking bomb.
One which I fear will blow me to bits,
Fragmented to frame a truth without benefits.

The world around me often falls apart,
Always at the tip of a dart.

It is in ruins that I find myself,
Depraved of a singular notion of the "self"
In the ruins of the past,
I see the foundation bicker, at last.
I learn a humble lesson or two,
On errors defined falsely as "too few"

The world around me often falls apart,
Devastatingly aiming for a brand new start.

I yearn for the experience of a world yet to be born,
While living along the frayed edges of a paper - torn.
I have seen myself through many faces,
My mind has traversed to a thousand places.
I bare yet, the same set of eyes,
My visions change, reality seldom complies.
Interrupted by chattering, from a dream like trance,
Cretins yammering on of a priestly stance.

The world around me often falls apart,
Imploring me to finally depart.

I don't want you..

Things could be so much better without you,
you know.
But you still won't leave me alone.
Will you?

Let me live
in today
for tomorrow.
Oh yesterday!
Please don't follow!

Haunting me
with every passing second
You're cruel
but all I can do is wait...

For days to become years
For time to cover you in its cloak
For you to fade away from my mind
But I know you

I know you still won't leave me!
Oh yesterday!
Go away!

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)

Photo Credit : www.thinkstockphotos.ca

How do you do it?
Behave like nothing matters, it doesn't to you maybe,
but it does to me, or what's left of me.

I've loved you with all I knew of myself,
and now I'm faced with a stranger in the mirror,
I don't know where she went, the girl who identified with my concept of the self,
She was a warrior.

Now I'm here like a ruined battle ground,
Frayed all over, nothing left to be lost and found.

I've almost forgotten how to breathe,

Anger no longer makes me seethe.

Bruised and broken,
There's nothing left to be spoken.
I reach out, and you don't.
It's not that you can't, but that you won't.

Pragmatically, I get you, your reasons and all.
Emotionally, I fell for all of you, in the season of fall.
Because even though I get why you're like this,
I just wish it wouldn't have to be like this.

So tell me, Love, how do you do it?
Fall in love and then get over it.
How do you breathe with a punctured heart?
Or was it absent right from the start?

Why is it so obvious and I still can't accept it?

Why is it so piercing, the behavior you elicit?

Why can't I just do what all the others do?

When along with the others you do it too!

Have fun, share a laugh, little bit of flying;

but all I'm always left with is little more of worrying!

I'm just your little doll locked in your closet;

I've found the key but I just wouldn't use it.

I chose you, over everything I ever owned;

You stole away from me all the bliss I ever found!

You awesomely escaped to your green world so 'wow'

Leaving me behind with a painful broken vow!

~ Plabita Borthakur (manu)